Letter Home to Heartbreak Hotel

you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave - The Eagles

Dear Heartbreak Hotel,

Jesus is alive and living in hell.
Elvis checked in but wouldn't leave his number.
Jim was neutered last Fall, and has now closed all his 'doors'
while George chases the Presidency again, not realising
Martha's drug problem has got worse and could be costly
to his campaign.

Marilyn and James are now smuggling diamonds
and writing Romance novels for elder citizens
waiting to rekindle their marriages,
while James K. B. and Dylan T. were outraged the other day
when Bukowski vomited into a piano
at their inaugural 'Dead Poets' meeting...

Other notes of interest:

Bruce and Brandon have formed a father & son action duo,
and are now searching for their killers.
Sid's given up bass (he never was any good),
John's doing Yoga (what else could he do?),
while River recently rose from the ashes,
and, as usual, Jimi and Janis are in the toilets
for 'just one fix'.

What else?

Karen's much the same and still won't eat her dinner,
while Kurt arrived just the other day muttering something 'about a girl'
and, the others?, you ask, well, they simply send their condolences.

Poem © Mark Pirie, 2001